Modest is Hottest

Anybody who has ever come in close contact with a Mormon or the Mormon community has heard the the phrase "Modest is Hottest" at least a dozen times. (Really, it's practically the 14th article of faith--no joke) Now, this is all fine and dandy, and isn't a bad idea--we really shouldn't be running around in our underwear with all our vajiggle-jaggle hanging out. It is neither classy nor healthy (more exposed skin = more surface area for mosquito bites and exotic flesh-eating bacteria) However, anyone who has come in close contact with the Mormon community can also tell you that the Modest is Hottest dogma is taken to such extremes sometimes that all interest in promoting God and Christian principles can be completely forgotten by really passionate teachers.

As a girl, modesty is extremely important in the Mormon church. That skirts above the knees and tank tops were off-limits never made too much sense to me, but I accepted it as one of those things we just accept because that's the way they are. That is, until one Sunday when I was 12 or 13 and a member of the Bishopbric said with no reservations, "Young ladies should be modest to make it easier for us dads and other men to be comfortable." (I'm paraphrasing of course, but the message is pretty clear) As the free-thinking, independent Mia Maid that I was (sarcasm doesn't translate well to the internet, sorry) I had some sort of spiritual "Ah-ha!" moment. Of course! Girls should be modest not because they're interested in each others' bodies, but because men are! Da doi!

For years, that was how I convinced myself to cover up my shoulders with jackets and cardigans. That lesson sticks out in my mind as much as the time I learned that Joseph Smith was a polygamist and that blacks weren't allowed to hold the priesthood until the 70's. But as years passed and my body developed, I began to question it. Now I think, "Brother H. was a 40-something man with a wife and 4 kids. Why would he care what a 12-year-old girl was wearing? I had no boobs, no hips, and my figure was still pretty much interchangeable with boys my age.  Why should my shoulders make him uncomfortable?"

This is where the Modest is hottest doctrine gets me now. Isn't that men are tempted and are made uncomfortable their problem? Why should I be concerned that I'm turning an old man on? The modesty issue essentially exempts men from all responsibility and self-control. The church doesn't advocate sex crimes, obviously, but I've certainly heard members--even women--ask "what was she wearing?" about rape victims. (In fact, on one rambunctious outing with some girlfriends where we went skinny dipping and sat around in our underwear afterward, one of my friends said, "We're just asking for it right now".)  It's always the girls' responsibility to make sure a man can control himself. Don't tempt him. Don't initiate inappropriate contact.

But whatever. I guess the burden of the priesthood is so heavy that men can't be concerned with much else.

Also, in preparation for this post, I raided my closet for the sluttiest outfit I could find. I really just consisted of a tank top and a lacy skirt I bought when I was 14 that goes a little below my mid thigh. I wore it around my room for a good five minutes before I realized I was being ridiculous and there were no men around to make uncomfortable. Bummer, right?

P.S. Keep in mind that I do realize there is a difference between appropriate and inappropriate attention, and dressing with respect for yourself is still important.